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R-Rated Movies Increase Underage Drinking

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R-Rated Movies Increase Underage Drinking

The first R-rated movie I can remember watching is Fatal Attraction.  My mom popped it in the VCR (YES!  Way back when the cavemen didn’t even have iPads yet!); she sat on the couch while I laid on the floor, and thank GOD she could not see my face because when Glenn Close and Michael Douglas started screwing in the elevator?  All I could think was, MY MOM AND I ARE WATCHING SEX TOGETHER.  MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!

Longest.  Sex.  Scene.  Ever.

This child just watched "Hot Tub Time Machine"

I can’t remember what happened next — I blacked out from sheer embarrassment — but I’m guessing I asked for a tequila shot.  Because, according to a new study, kids who watch R-rated movies are much more likely to start drinking alcohol at an early age than their nerdy counterparts.

Researchers questioned nearly 3,600 middle-school children in New England and followed up about two years later.  In that time, 3 percent of the kids who said their parents never allowed them to watch R-rated movies said they had started drinking alcohol, compared with 19 percent of those who were sometimes allowed to watch R-rated movies and 25 percent of those who said they were allowed to watch such movies “all the time.”

Dr. James D. Sargent, one of the authors of the study, notes, “We think seeing the adult content actually changes their personality.”

If the content does have such a profound effect, kids should watch Leaving Las Vegas and Requiem for a Dream.  That should scare ’em sober until… well, college.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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