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Yet Another One of Jesse James’ Elegant Mistresses Comes Forward

Celebrities

Yet Another One of Jesse James’ Elegant Mistresses Comes Forward

Gah!  I’ve been trying to ignore the new mistress updates, but Jesse James is apparently the tattooed, motorcycle-riding Tiger Woods — so many HOTS (honies on the side) coming out of the woodwork, that he’s making it nearly impossible to avoid the reports.  So alas…

The latest, courtesy of — who else? — TMZ:  Los Angeles Brigitte Daguerre claims Jesse hired her in 2008 to do styling work for a West Coast Choppers photo shoot.  They then e-mailed and texted each other for a year, but claims they only had sex four times before she cut it off.

“Only” four times?  Well, hell, that barely qualifies as cheating!  *Ahem*

Lest we think she’s making this up, Brigitte has 195 text messages between her and Jesse (the cell phone numbers apparently sync up) … many of them extremely graphic.  Among the milder ones, Jesse says, “I’ll be your monkey.”

Of course he will be.  He’s the VANILLA GORILLA!

As you can see, Jesse likes his mistresses to be VERY classy.  I mean, just check out those Audrey Hepburn-esque white gloves.  Elegant.

Meanwhile, in slightly more upbeat news, Janine James — the mother of Jesse’s daughter, Sunny — tells TMZ, “If Sandra decides to keep a relationship going with our daughter Sunny, I would in no way stop that.”

She added, “Sunny loves Sandy and vice versa.  She’s welcome to be a part of every aspect of Sunny’s life.  She has taken care of our daughter as if she was her own … she sacrificed much … and I will forever be indebted to her for that.”

Yes!  Even the EX likes Sandra!  Oh, Jesse.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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