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Colleges Narcing Out Drunk Students to Their Parents

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Colleges Narcing Out Drunk Students to Their Parents

Student enjoys a light refreshment

When I was in college, I enjoyed the occasional alcoholic drink and by “occasional,” I mean daily case of Moosehead.  In fact, I majored in keg stands and was very fortunate that I was never busted — especially considering keg stand-ology is really only supposed to be a minor.  Also, college security didn’t want the headache of dealing with us unless our drunk asses were, like, in a coma, so they would simply “raid” frat houses by coming in and making sure we had set our plastic cups on the floor before leaving so we could resume drinking again.

Good thing I attended college in the olden days, because the new trend among a “growing list of colleges,” according to The Washington Post, is notifying parents “every time a student younger than 21 is caught drinking, drunk or in possession of alcohol,” a list that includes George Washington University, M.I.T., the University of Kansas, the University of Maryland, the University of Georgia, the University of New Mexico, the University of Virginia and, most recently, Virginia Tech.

Why inform parents of their adult offspring’s unlawful antics when legal officials wouldn’t do so with adult non-college students?  Well, concerned about injuries, deaths, rising alcoholism rates and lawsuits, colleges have realized that, in addition to disciplining with fines and whatnot, seeking parents’ help can help anti-drinking efforts. Research shows that parents can have a significant influence on their children’s drinking habits.

“Students are more concerned about their parents being notified than they are of the legal consequences,” said Edward Spencer, vice president for student affairs at Virginia Tech.

If you’d asked me how I felt about this a year ago, I would have said, “Ah, c’mon.  Let the kids take responsibility for themselves, so long as they’re not, you know, driving drunk or blowing a .7 on the Breathalyzer.”  But now that I’m a parent…?  TELL ME EVERYTHING.

I’m sure Miss Skye will agree.  *Ahem*

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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