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The Laughing Stork

Candy's Column

My Tadpole

Miss Skye and I have been taking parent-infant swim classes together.  I believe it’s important that she take these lessons, so that I can dress her in ridiculously cute baby bathing suits.  She is the youngest student in the class, and the most fearless.  Hold on to the kickboard?  No problem.  Take a dip under water?  You got it.  From the moment we stepped into that pool, her chubby little legs were kicking nonstop.

And did I mentioned her PINK TERRY CLOTH COVER-UP?

This is why I had a child:  so her unbearable cuteness distracts from the sight of ME in a bathing suit.  Perfectly healthy reason to procreate, I think.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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