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The Laughing Stork

Candy's Column

Winter Nights

Okay, I don’t know how this happened, but my computer informs me that it is DECEMBER, people!  You know what that means, don’t you?  That I forgot to celebrate Sandwich Day in November.  My PB&Js will never forgive me.

Also, that it’s going to get COLD.

Even here in Los Angeles, it gets chilly at night — and it’s hard to know how to keep babies snuggly, since doing pretty much anything could apparently cause death.  Cover ’em with a blanket?  Death!  Keep the room too warm?  Death!

Being the caring parents we are, Mr. Candy and I generally try to avoid death.  So we tried dressing Miss Skye — who now kicks off any and all lame swaddling attempts — in footed pajamas, thinking that would do the trick.   Wrong!  Poor thing.  When I  grabbed her from the crib in the morning, her hands and cheeks were like ice.  For which Skylar showed her appreciation by pooping on my lap.   Touché, Skylar, touché.

Thankfully, I came across the above Dreamsie Luxe Sleeper, which is basically a wearable blanket.  It may not make the most attractive fashion statement — most ladies wouldn’t be caught dead in such an unflattering sack, certainly not without a waist-cinching belt — but it DOES keep our Sweet Pea safely warm at night.  You can just zip it up and be done with it, or dress the baby in light pajamas underneath the sleeper, as I do — and then rub your face in it because OMIGOD IS IT SOFT.

This wasn’t a gift from a publicist, if that’s what you’re thinking, folks.  Nope!  Rather, it was a gift from a fruitful Google search for safe ways to cover babies, and I just thought I’d pass on the suggestion to other new parents looking to keep their little ones snug as a bug in a rug.  (A gross phrase when you think about it, but let’s not.)

I know I’m a biased parent, BUT… even without the belt, Miss Skye manages to pull off that shapeless sack, doesn’t she?  It’s all about confidence, really.  Work it, girl!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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