And the “Sexiest Man Alive” is…

ALIVE, not dead, mind you (which totally would have changed the dynamics of the competition)…

Okay, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer:  The big winner is Johnny Depp, according to those sexy man connoisseurs over at People magazine.  The quirky 46-year-old actor and father of two has now received this esteemed honor twice, a feat matched only by Brad Pitt and George Clooney.

“Johnny Depp has magical powers.  He’s unlike anyone else,” says actress Isla Fisher, who’s engaged to Sacha Baron Cohen. “He’s funny, generous and clever.  It’s just a shame he’s so hard on the eyes.”

I know Johnny is a favorite with the ladies — and I will concede that he’s crazy talented, handsome when he chooses to be and seemingly gracious — but I have to note that I was crushed when I saw him at the Coffee Bean here in West Hollywood… and I could have set my latte on his head.  For the record, I am 5’7″, maybe 5’8″.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  But I already have a coffee table.

Yeah, you’re right — I’m just bitter that Mr. Candy didn’t get the honor!