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And the “Sexiest Man Alive” is…


And the “Sexiest Man Alive” is…

ALIVE, not dead, mind you (which totally would have changed the dynamics of the competition)…

Okay, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer:  The big winner is Johnny Depp, according to those sexy man connoisseurs over at People magazine.  The quirky 46-year-old actor and father of two has now received this esteemed honor twice, a feat matched only by Brad Pitt and George Clooney.

“Johnny Depp has magical powers.  He’s unlike anyone else,” says actress Isla Fisher, who’s engaged to Sacha Baron Cohen. “He’s funny, generous and clever.  It’s just a shame he’s so hard on the eyes.”

I know Johnny is a favorite with the ladies — and I will concede that he’s crazy talented, handsome when he chooses to be and seemingly gracious — but I have to note that I was crushed when I saw him at the Coffee Bean here in West Hollywood… and I could have set my latte on his head.  For the record, I am 5’7″, maybe 5’8″.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  But I already have a coffee table.

Yeah, you’re right — I’m just bitter that Mr. Candy didn’t get the honor!

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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