Benjamin Franklin said, “The only things certain in life are death and taxes.” Which demonstrates a very important historical point: that lightning rod clearly fried Ben’s brain. Because anybody who has been a parent knows there are other certainties in life, certainties that arise almost every day Also, contrary to what Crazy Benny believed, paying taxes is optional. Just ask Wesley Snipes. Duh.
To prove my point about certainties, I have conducted months of research to prepare yet another groundbreaking scientific law. So, on the heels of Skye’s Law of Universal Gravity-Defying Poop, I present to you CANDY’S LAW OF MATERNAL INEVITABILITIES:
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