ME: How was your day?
MR. CANDY: Good! The client liked our proposal —
ME: Skylar’s poop turned green today.
MR. CANDY: Green?
MR. CANDY: Oh. Well, ANYWAY, I may have to go to Brazil for some focus groups —
ME: But then it went back to seedy yellow.
MR. CANDY: … São Paulo, probably — er, excuse me?
ME: The poop. It’s yellow again.
MR. CANDY: That’s great! Just… great.
ME: I’m sorry, you were saying…?
MR. CANDY: Focus groups in São Paulo next month —
ME: Apparently, it means she’s getting too much of the foremilk.
MR. CANDY: …for just a couple days. [PAUSE] What?
ME: The green poop. Means I need to keep her on one boob longer so she gets the cheesecake-y hindmilk, too.
MR. CANDY: [LONG PAUSE] Cheesecake-y?
ME: Yes. Like cheesecake.
MR. CANDY: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
ME: That makes two of us.