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If You Can’t Beat ‘Em…

Candy's Column

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em…

Our fluffy daughter Marcy, as you may recall, sank into a deep depression when we first brought Miss Skye home.  No longer the primary tenant of my lap, she was devastated.  She rarely moved, slept in the bathtub, and poured shots of whiskey in her Meow Mix when she thought I wasn’t looking.  When Skylar would cry, Marcy would shoot me a look as if to say, “You replaced me with THIS, you stupid, stupid woman?!”  Then would melodramatically drop her head on the ground.  Again.

Well, time heals all emotionally wounded kitties, as they say.  Marcy actually seems to enjoy Skye now, following us around the house and joining us in bed, where she often gives Skye’s head an approving sniff.  This means A LOT coming from an anal-retentive cat who bathes herself, oh, eighty-six times a day and even covers her brother’s poop with litter when he fails to do so adequately.  Again.

However, now that Skye’s getting a hang of this whole reaching-and-grabbing thing…?  I suspect this blossoming friendship is going to end faster than I can say, “Run, Marcy, run!”  Oh well.  It’s not like Marcy really NEEDS her tail, anyway.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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