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Ballon Boy Parents Foiled by Police, Will Face Criminal Charges

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Ballon Boy Parents Foiled by Police, Will Face Criminal Charges

Surprise, surprise:  Authorities plan to file charges against Balloon Boy’s parents for staging the whole “Our Son May Be Stuck in a Homemade Flying Saucer!” routine.

The “a-ha!” moment that led authorities — and the rest of the world with any semblance of common sense — to realize what had happened was when CNN’s Wolf Blitzer asked the six-year-old boy why he had not come out from hiding when they called his name.

“You guys said we did this for the show,” the boy responded.

Promptly followed by a loud THUD! when his father’s heart dropped.

On Sunday, Sheriff Jim Alderden called the incident a “hoax,” adding that investigators believe the evidence indicates that “it was a publicity stunt” by the family in hopes of “better marketing themselves for a reality television show at some point in the future.”

Couldn’t they get a show by going the more traditional route:  by just popping out another five kids?  Geesh.

The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met in a Hollywood acting school and “put on a very good show for us,” Alderden said.  Charges could include conspiracy, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, making a false report to authorities, attempting to influence a public servant, and sticking their child with a VERY unfortunate nickname for the rest of his life.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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