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Colin Farrell to Reproduce with Entire World Population of Model/Actresses

Celebrities

Colin Farrell to Reproduce with Entire World Population of Model/Actresses

Colin Farrell, who’s been flying under the radar for an impressive amount of time, has risen from the tabloid ashes to announce he is having another baby.

The actor, 33, confirmed at the Toronto Film Festival this weekend that he and Polish girlfriend Alicja Bachleda, a 26-year-old model/actress (aren’t they all?) are expecting their first child together.    Presumably, he confirmed the news with a written statement.  Because when he gives media interviews…?  I can barely understand a damn word he says.

This will be the second child for Colin, who is developing a habit of reproducing with different model/actresses from around the world.  He already has a 5-year-old son, James, with American model Kim Bordenave.

When asked for comment, Colin’s swimmers said they have their eye on Israeli model Bar Rafaeli next.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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