Wayne Rooney Holds BYOU (Bring Your Own Ultrasound) Party

Footballer Wayne Rooney —

Hold on a sec.  Am I, as an American, allowed to call him a “footballer”?  Hmmm.  Perhaps I’d better play it safe (and appropriately ignorant)…

SOCCER PLAYER Wayne Rooney and his pregnant wife Coleen, both 23 years old, celebrated their imminent arrival with something perhaps even more, um, questionable than the ever-popular “Smell the Diaper!” baby shower game:  They hired a 3D ultrasound scanning machine for their party, allowing guests to peek into Colleen’s womb while they chowed down on smoked salmon appetizers.

My gawd, what’s next:  Posting their baby’s 3D ultrasound on the Internet?!  How utterly tasteless —

Oh wait.  Oops!  Forget I said anything.

“Most expectant mothers go and have their scans done in private,” a source close to the Rooneys — but apparently not a huge fan of them — told the Daily Mail.  “But Coleen and Wayne couldn’t wait to show off baby Roo. The 4D scanning machines give a really clear picture.”

For their next baby party, they’re planning an even CLASSIER surprise for guests:  “Let’s Give Coleen a Dilation Exam!”  Latex gloves will be passed out at the door.

With thanks to Laughing Stork friend, Mark, for the heads up.