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Wayne Rooney Holds BYOU (Bring Your Own Ultrasound) Party

Celebrities

Wayne Rooney Holds BYOU (Bring Your Own Ultrasound) Party

Footballer Wayne Rooney —

Hold on a sec.  Am I, as an American, allowed to call him a “footballer”?  Hmmm.  Perhaps I’d better play it safe (and appropriately ignorant)…

SOCCER PLAYER Wayne Rooney and his pregnant wife Coleen, both 23 years old, celebrated their imminent arrival with something perhaps even more, um, questionable than the ever-popular “Smell the Diaper!” baby shower game:  They hired a 3D ultrasound scanning machine for their party, allowing guests to peek into Colleen’s womb while they chowed down on smoked salmon appetizers.

My gawd, what’s next:  Posting their baby’s 3D ultrasound on the Internet?!  How utterly tasteless —

Oh wait.  Oops!  Forget I said anything.

“Most expectant mothers go and have their scans done in private,” a source close to the Rooneys — but apparently not a huge fan of them — told the Daily Mail.  “But Coleen and Wayne couldn’t wait to show off baby Roo. The 4D scanning machines give a really clear picture.”

For their next baby party, they’re planning an even CLASSIER surprise for guests:  “Let’s Give Coleen a Dilation Exam!”  Latex gloves will be passed out at the door.

With thanks to Laughing Stork friend, Mark, for the heads up.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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