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Attention Parents: An Important Killer Tambourine Update

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Attention Parents: An Important Killer Tambourine Update

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Murderous tambourines:  Now preying on YOUR children?  News at eleven.

Thank goodness for the diligent journalists who cover the killer band instruments beat; otherwise, parents may not have been aware of the life-threatening consequences of allowing their child to be a budding percussionist.  To wit:

Firefighters received a bizarre call out yesterday after a boy managed to get a tambourine stuck around his neck while at a Napier day care center.  A fire crew was sent to Kidspace on Kennedy Road shortly before 9am.  A spokesman from the Napier Fire Service said it took a crew member around a minute to remove the tambourine.

The boy and instrument both came away unscathed from the incident.

Oh sure, THIS time.  But how many frightening daycare incidents, brave firefighters putting their lives on the line and truly terrible Yoko Ono songs will it take before government bans this annoying, er… I mean, DANGEROUS instrument once and for all?

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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