Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

Top 10 “Bad Boy” Names

In the News

Top 10 “Bad Boy” Names

A new study in Social Science Quarterly — which I never miss an issue of — claims the more unpopular, uncommon or feminine a boy’s first name, the greater the chance he will end up behind bars.

So just what are the top 10 “bad boy” names in the United States…?  They would be:  Alec; Ernest; Garland; Ivan; Kareem; Luke; Malcolm; Preston; Tyrell; and Walter.

That’s right!  Don’t mess with Walter.  He’ll cut a bitch for beating him in Scrabble.

Shippensburg University professor David Kalist’s report shows that “unpopular names are likely not the cause of crime.”   Rather, it’s the factors often associated with those names that can “increase the tendency toward juvenile delinquency.”  For example, boys with uncommon names are often ridiculed by peers, come from families of low socioeconomic status and face discrimination in the workforce, according to the study.

Oh please.  People warned my parents I would end up a hooker or a stripper if they named me “Candy.”  And look at me!  I NEVER dabbled in prostitution.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in In the News

To Top