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Bridget Jones’s Mummy Diary


Bridget Jones’s Mummy Diary

105 lbs. (not for long), husbands 1 (hurrah!), shags during ovulation cycle 3 (hurrah!), calories 2100, calories allocated toward eventual baby 600, so total calories 1,500 (exemplary)

She’s baaa-aaack!

Renée Zellweger is hopping back on the Bridget Jones gravy train (and pouring that gravy on everything she eats to pack on 30 pounds — AGAIN — for the role) for a third installment of the comedy, which will start filming at the end of this year.


This movie will follow the British television reporter’s attempts to have a baby “before it’s too late.” Hilarity will, no doubt, ensue.

“Can I just tell you my body is whacked by the time we finish one of those?” she told the Daily Mail of gaining weight for the films. “It doesn’t know what has happened because it thinks there’s supposed to be a baby and there’s no christening.”

Ah, sounds like my college years when I gained the Freshman 50! Only I did have a tapping christening ceremony for the precious cargo I was carrying in my belly: a healthy, frothy beer keg! We named it “Miller Lite.” Awwwww.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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