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The Laughing Stork Sports Edition: World’s Strongest Vagina Breaks Own Record

In the News

The Laughing Stork Sports Edition: World’s Strongest Vagina Breaks Own Record

You were probably just sitting around wondering about the latest in vaginal sports — well, wonder no more!

A Russian woman, who undoubtedly is quite popular with the men, has set a new world record, lifting a 31-lb. glass ball with her Olympian Vagina.  Tatiata Kozhevnikova, 42, has been exercising her vaginal muscles for fifteen years, and has already made the Guinness Book of Records as the proud owner of the world’s strongest vagina.

Talk about one hell of a pick-up line:  “May I grab a beer for you?  WITH MY VAGINA?!”

“After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” Tatiana said. “I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina.  It took me ages to get it out!”

A GLASS ball…?  *GULP*  That cannot be a good idea.

Tatiana subsequently “developed quite a taste for vagina fitness,” and now that she’s a pro, she has her exercising balls custom-made.

“You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook.”

The Vaginal Fitness Expert recommends vaginal exercises to all women who want to improve their sex life.

“It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed,” she says.

FUN CHALLENGE OF THE DAY:  Find a way to casually work “developed quite a taste for vagina fitness” into conversation!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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