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Operation Baby Nursery: Complete (Sorta)

Candy's Column

Operation Baby Nursery: Complete (Sorta)

Well, we’re pretty much done with the baby’s room:

Simple, soothing and definitely NOT pink — not that there’s anything wrong with that.  I just figured we have many years of pink princess dresses and pink princess dolls and pink princess tramp stamps (or whatever the kids are doing these days) ahead of us, so we might as well take advantage of this this brief period when Baby Girl is unable to inject her opinion.  It is during this time that I also plan to dress her in embarrassing items such as this:

I let her use my bladder as a gymnastics vault last night.  Wearing a fashionably questionable knit bear cap is the least she can do for me.

Transforming the bedroom, which previously was my office/storage room/Mr. Candy’s hamper, into something resembling a nursery was not an easy task in the least.  But several months, one professional carpet cleaning and many bulldozers later, I’ll be damned if we don’t finally have a baby’s room on our hands.

“The Lady and the Tramp” illustration was a special gift with special meaning that Mr. Candy gave to me when we were mere babies ourselves.  We’re precious like that.  So seeing it now hang in our baby’s room makes me a bit weepy, I must admit.

Most importantly, we have a mini-fridge for margarita storage.  I read that you should never, EVER feed lukewarm margaritas to newborns because they could develop a social life-threatening aversion to the tasty tequila-based drinks.   Being a caring parent, I would never wish that upon my child.

Crib bedding:  JoJo Designs’ Dragonfly Dreams

Furniture:  PALI Trieste Collection

View from the glider, where Baby Girl and I will gaze upon the Hollywood Hills and I will rock her to sleep with beautiful lullabies.  Like the children’s classic “Gold Digger,” the inspiring tale of a girl who rises above her humble beginnings by trapping a gullible “prince” with her magical and cunning hoo-ha.  Awwww.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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