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Introducing My Baby Daddy

Celebrities

Introducing My Baby Daddy

Why, hello there, New Mr. Candy!

This may come as a shock for those of you who actually fell for that whole Ryan-Reynolds-and-Scarlett Johansson-got-married ruse (you are SO gullible!) but, yes, Ryan Reynolds is my baby daddy. 

Paternity was confirmed with two foolproof tests:  1) When I watched “Letterman” last night and he stole my heart with his quick wit; and 2)  When I saw this Entertainment Weekly cover and he stole my, um, something with his six-pack (which, in a helpful twist, looks like it can also grate cheese).

I have broken the news to the Former Mr. Candy, who literally just stepped in the door upon returning from China, and he sighed “Oh, geez.”  Then he saw Ryan’s cover and gasped, “DAMN, ARE THOSE ABS REAL?”

At least now he understands.  Helps soften the blow.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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