Why, hello there, New Mr. Candy!
This may come as a shock for those of you who actually fell for that whole Ryan-Reynolds-and-Scarlett Johansson-got-married ruse (you are SO gullible!) but, yes, Ryan Reynolds is my baby daddy.
Paternity was confirmed with two foolproof tests: 1) When I watched “Letterman” last night and he stole my heart with his quick wit; and 2) When I saw this Entertainment Weekly cover and he stole my, um, something with his six-pack (which, in a helpful twist, looks like it can also grate cheese).
I have broken the news to the Former Mr. Candy, who literally just stepped in the door upon returning from China, and he sighed “Oh, geez.” Then he saw Ryan’s cover and gasped, “DAMN, ARE THOSE ABS REAL?”
At least now he understands. Helps soften the blow.