A Meltdown Update, or “A Baby Mama’s Heroic Tale of Triumphing Over Pregnancy Hormones”

Third Trimester Meltdown:  Vanquished.

Yes, I am delighted to report that, thanks to ironing tips from readers and my mom, I have overcome the horrific Wrinkled Crib Bedding Incident of ’09.  Because of all this nesting madness, I learned that placing a wet towel underneath the material goes a long way in smoothing out wrinkles.

Also, I finally learned where we keep our iron!

The nursery is shaping up nicely, if I do say so myself.   And I do.  We’re just waiting for bookends, a lamp base and a cleaning fairy to vacuum the carpet, and we’ll be ready to unveil the room to you, friends and family, and any random schmo we can grab off the street because WE ARE SO RELIEVED IT’S FREAKING FINISHED!

Well, if Marcy allows us into the room, that is.  ‘Cause I’m afraid she’s mistakenly claimed the new baby digs as her own:

"This crib bumper is a death trap! Do I have to teach you EVERYTHING, woman?"

“GET OUT OF THAT CRIB!!!” I yelled loudly enough for even Hugh Hefner to hear (without his aid) at the Mansion across town.  I didn’t want Marcy to get too cozy in there, not with visions of her inadvertently jumping on our sleeping baby and then possibly CLEANING THE BABY TO DEATH (that’s how Marcy rolls) swimming in my head.

But first I had to run downstairs and grab my camera, of course.  Because cute pictures trump baby safety!  Every good parent knows that.