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Adriana Lima is Pregnant, Thereby Crushing the Hopes of Millions of Teenage Boys

Celebrities

Adriana Lima is Pregnant, Thereby Crushing the Hopes of Millions of Teenage Boys

I think we’ve finally discovered Victoria’s secret — bitch is fertile!

VS model Alessandra Corine Ambrósio recently had a baby; former VS model Giesle is reportedly with child; VS legend Heidi Klum is knocking ’em out faster than you can say “baby machine”; and now Adriana “I vow to be a virgin till marriage” Lima has confirmed that she is three months along with her first child, after getting married to basketball player Marko Jaric a convenient three months ago.

Hmmmm…

All I know is, if you don’t want to get pregnant, be sure to stay away from the Body by Victoria® line!  Slipping on their demi bra seems to produce the same result as being within a 20-mile radius of Kevin Federline.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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