Breaking Medical News: Wife Drills into Husband’s Pecker

A woman who was a teensy bit unhappy with her husband after he spent a week’s salary on liquor — hey, appletinis ain’t cheap! — decided to maturely teach him a lesson in finances by drilling a hole into his penis.

Presumably, she used a drill by Black and Pecker.

A horrified Andrei Karaj told cops he was asleep on the sofa when he was awakened by an agonizing pain — and a breeze through his willy — at which point, he saw his wife standing over him with a power drill at their home in Russia.

The 25-year-old said:  “I felt amazing pain and there she was with the drill.  I had just enough strength to call the paramedics before I passed out.”

It’s Tool Time!

A team of doctors stitched the gaping wound back together during a delicate three-hour operation.  Plumbers are on stand-by in case it starts to sprink a leak.