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Dating Site Gives Birth to Virtual Babies

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Dating Site Gives Birth to Virtual Babies

I came across a press release for a Danish dating site today (yes, I just HAPPENED to come across it, honey… *AHEM*) announcing a new feature that allows members to have virtual babies together.  Hard for me to imagine how online daters would make the leap from “winking” at cute members to starting a cyber-family together.  Perhaps love seekers are revising their profile headlines accordingly:

FUN, ’80s MUSIC-LOVING GAL SEEKING GUY TO CUDDLE WITH, CHANGE ONLINE DIAPERS TOGETHER

Nope, not weird at all.

According to the release, “all you need to do is load their photos as well as yours, and you get the chance to create a virtual baby in 9 seconds, not 9 months.”  Which could also be the title of a movie sequel:  “How to Lose a Guy in Nine Seconds.”

They claim 35,000 members have already “morphed and given birth to beautiful YOUAND.ME virtual members.”  One member, who wishes to remain anonymous — can’t imagine why? — apparently “beams with joy” when speaking about her virtual child:

“Actually, my sweetie is about what I’d imagine my ideal baby would look like,” she states. “I’m a little nervous as a novice virtual mommy, and I’ve yet to break the news to the virtual daddy.”

And in related news, virtual restraining orders have recently increased exponentially!

I mean, that’s a little bizarre, right?  Who in their right mind would — oh, wait.  I forgot to share a very special announcement with you!

Yes, I’ve been withholding a few minor details of my pregnancy with you.  Just minor.  Clooney and I had a virtual one-night stand and, well, here is our little bundle of joy, Kirby!  I’m still recovering from my virtual C-section, but Clooney has helped ease my pain with a virtual diamond ring!

Sorry, Mr. Candy.  But the virtual rock is HUGE.

I know what you’re thinking, and… yes, we are registered.  You can find our virtual baby registry at Petit Tresor, the very same place where Tom and Katie registered for THEIR virtual bab — er… I mean, for Suri.

[Make Your Own Baby Here]

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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