Connect with us

The Laughing Stork

End-of-Week Pregnancy Hormones

Candy's Column

End-of-Week Pregnancy Hormones

I used to honor TGIF by double-fisting Tequila Sunrises at Cabo Cantina’s two-for-one Happy Hour. Today, however, I was just happy to reunite my hair with shampoo — disturbingly overdue — and let the shower rinse off the layer of lint that’s surely accumulated under my baby bump.  I’d read that Baby Girl’s ears are now fully formed at 24-and-a-half weeks, so I also used the occasion to torture her with my singing.  The song that immediately came to mind…?

The oh-so-original “Rock-a-Bye Baby.”  Which, in the midst of warbling, I realized is quite violent, no?

So I altered the lyrics to ensure I didn’t scare baby into hibernating in my tummy FOREVER (could get awkward when she starts dating):

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle won’t fall,
Because mommy will catch you, cradle and all…

And I got choked up.

No, not at the thought of a cradle falling on me, although now that I think about it, that is a frightening prospect.  But rather, from being overwhelmed with love and excitement.  ME — the first one armed with a wisecrack; the woman who wasn’t always one-hundred percent certain she even wanted to have children.  In fact, I could have lived a perfectly content life without becoming a mother and do not understand people who think women MUST reproduce to be fulfilled.  “When are you gonna have a BAY-BEE?  You MUST have a BAY-BEE!” people would often demand of me the past few years, making me want to slap them upside the head.

But now that I’ve made the choice…?   I honestly am on Cloud Nine.  As I recently told my mom, “I can’t wait to meet my daughter!”

So, yes, I got choked up and even shed a few sappy tears warbling a silly old lullaby in the shower.   Right on cue, Baby Girl nudged me with her foot as if to say, “It’s okay, Mom.”  Either that, or she was requesting I switch the music channel to Kelly Clarkson.  Regardless, it was a wonderful moment.  One of THOSE moments, you know?

This is my long-winded way of telling you how excited I am to continue sharing the journey with you.  I’m thrilled to have already connected with dads, moms and other moms-to-be who have reached out by e-mail and comments, as well as with non-parents just looking for some lighthearted fare.  This site will, I hope, always be filled with humor, fun and a bit of sarcasm — but please know it’s all underscored with a genuine love for family.

Will be busy working on the launch all weekend, with the exception of Sunday afternoon, when Mr. Candy and I are heading to the entertaining Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues.  Hope everyone has a great Easter, Passover or what-have-you — and that I “see” you at the site launch on Monday!

Hugs, kisses and many Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs,


Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

More in Candy's Column

To Top