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David Caruso Accused of Abusing Baby Mama, Sunglasses Privileges


David Caruso Accused of Abusing Baby Mama, Sunglasses Privileges

Sweet GuyDavid Caruso, best known for dramatically lowering his sunglasses to punctuate a point on “CSI:  Miami, ” has been slapped silly with a lawsuit by Liza Marquez, the baby mama he dumped while she was pregnant.

What a sweetheart!

Marquez filed a multi-count suit, with counts including:  Breach of Contract/Settlement Agreement; Fraud; and Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (Domestic Abuse).

Is that all…?

Allegations cover quite the gamut of juicy goodies:

  • Caruso asked her to terminate her first pregnancy, and then told her, “I guess for now you’ll just be a birthing cow.”  (Ed. note:  That was her cue to shove his sunglasses where the sun don’t shine.)
  • Caruso accused her of wanting to sleep with Billy Dee Williams.  (Ed. note:  Who DOESN’T, really?)
  • Marquez discovered that Caruso has a huge 1970s porno stash hidden in his bedroom.  (Ed. note:  Who DOESN’T, really?)
  • Caruso “raised his hand” to Marquez while she was pregnant with their second child.  (Ed. note:  Okay, if true, she needs to shove something more painful than sunglasses up there.)

Marquez also claims Caruso agreed to pay her $1 million, but he reneged on the deal months later.

Yikes.  This sounds like even more of a mess than Caruso’s post-NYPD Blue movie career.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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