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Pub to Pregnant Woman: No Beer for Yooouuu!

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Pub to Pregnant Woman: No Beer for Yooouuu!

Got Guinness?

A British woman was left thirsty when a pub refused to serve her a drink because of her toasted bun in the oven, and then kicked her out for covertly taking a sip of her friend’s lager.

Five months pregnant, Caroline Williams decided to take the high road and simply went home where she nourished her baby with some nutritious orange juice.

No!  I kid!  A pissed-off Caroline blew the whistle on the Cricketer pub by calling my favorite British rag, the Daily Mail, and crying, “‘I never felt so singled out and humiliated in my life!”

If THAT’S her single-most mortifying experience, her junior high years were clearly better than mine.

I do believe people get way too uptight about pregnant women coming within a five-mile radius of alcohol, caffeine and sushi — oh yes, I see your judging eyes when I enter Starbucks for my tiny daily latte! — but to the pub’s credit, they had already served Miss Caroline one pint of lager.  Which is… let me count here… approximately one more pint than I’ve had my entire pregnancy. Yes, instead of being the pregnant pint-seeker, I am the pathetic pregnant lady who was enviously sniffing a friend’s chocolate martini at a bar last week.

Surprised they didn’t throw ME out for hurting the bar’s “cool” factor.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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