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5 Reasons You Should Vote for the Preschooler-Toddler Ticket Today

Family & Parenting Humor

5 Reasons You Should Vote for the Preschooler-Toddler Ticket Today

We’ve already established why my three-year-old would rock this election season as a presidential candidate; if you’re not totally convinced, however, here are some more reasons why you should consider voting for this country’s dream team of a ticket — my three-year-old daughter and 16-month-old son — at the booth today:

5.  Three-year-old is already adept at frequently flip-flopping on important domestic issues:

4.  16-month-old is a pro at spewing a bunch of sh*t:

3.  Three-year-old has iron-clad budget plan:

2.  16-month-old is always up for that “3AM phone call“:

1.  Even when they’re frustrating us by breaking promises and ignoring popular opinion…

…At least they’re cute while doing so.


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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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