ME: Could you please, um, move your car? Please…?
MAN IN 7-ELEVEN PARKING LOT: [BLANK STARE]
ME: [GESTURING] You’re parked too close. I can’t open my door.
MAN: Why don’t you get in the passenger side and crawl the f*ck over?
NOTE TO SELF: Load up trunk with ammunition — I mean, of course, a pile of ripe, window-ready dirty diapers — as soon as I get home for such situations in the future.