Attention Freud: Shia LaBeouf Wants to LaBoff His Mom

First Papa Joe bragged about his daughter’s bodacious Double-Ds.  Then Donald Trump gushed he would date his daughter Ivanka if she weren’t, you know, his daughter (pesky laws).  Now Shia LaBeouf is hopping on the trendy Incest Train by declaring his lust for his mom.

“Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother,” says Shia (in a Playboy interview, no less).  “She’s an ethereal angel.  Nobody looks like that woman.  If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.”

Well, it sounds more sick when he also reveals that he’s seen her naked quite a bit.   Yup, Shia’s “spiritual” mother Shayna apparently often walked around in the buff.

“The nudity was weird, especially when her friends came over.  You’ve got your little buds over, and Mom’s, like, playing naked connect the dots or whatever,” Shia undoubtedly smiles while recollecting.  “She’s in the middle of goddess-group time, where it’s literally a bunch of naked women tracing auras around one another’s bodies with incense and then sitting together and humming for prolonged periods of time.”

A bunch of naked women openly touching each other?  No wonder Shia’s house was as popular with the boys as a hooker on nickel night.