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Nothing Says “Dedicated Parent” Like a Baby Tattoo

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Nothing Says “Dedicated Parent” Like a Baby Tattoo

Well, “dedicated” is one word for it.

As I was sitting here at my desk, eating a container of pudding and gazing at my framed picture of Baby Girl’s 3-D ultrasound, I got to thinking about the different ways we commemorate our children:  framed photos; bronzed baby shoes; scrapbooks; and…

… baby tattoos?

Then I thought, “Crap, I sure hope Spray ‘N’ Wash removes chocolate pudding stains,” before deciding to search the Internet for pictures of parents who have immortalized their kids with some serious ink.  Because this is the kind of important work I do.  Not surprisingly, I came across a few doozies I just had to share with you:

This one has a certain, lovely man-baby quality — as if inspired by a Wayans Brother.  It is the decorative cloud of stars, however, that truly sets it apart.

Wait — when did Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson have a baby?!

Something tells me Megan isn’t going to appreciate looking like James Carville.

Dear god, I’ve seen actual human babies who look less real than that.  A shame the baby is about to chow down on that prehistoric animal.  Get that kid some cereal, for crying out loud!

Oh, this is just WRONG!  Who in their right mind would get a 3-D ultrasound etched on their — wait, that looks familiar…

Oops.  Nevermind.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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