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The Curious Case of Bethenny Frankel’s Breasts

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The Curious Case of Bethenny Frankel’s Breasts

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Did any of you watch The Real Housewives of New York season premiere tonight? Because, although I will always be grateful to Bethenny Frankel for her Skinny Girl Margarita recipe, I am gravely concerned about the State of Her Breasts:

Is that… a belly button on her chest? Would that be called a breast button? Also, unless she ordered the Idaho Potato-Boob Special, she should really ask her surgeon for a refund on those lumpy orbs. Even though they’re the only part of the show that kept my attention — for better or for worse.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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