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A Guide for Husbands: The Top Four Signs That Your Valentine’s Day Gift Was a Flop

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A Guide for Husbands: The Top Four Signs That Your Valentine’s Day Gift Was a Flop

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1. You do not get laid for a long, long time.

2.  Your wife’s voice reaches a pitch only dogs can hear.*

*Exception:  If accompanied by an equally ear-piercing squeal and exuberant hug, however, you have likely hit a home run.

3.  Your wife finds a “creative” place to display the gift.

4.  You realize you are ridiculously more giddy about the gift than she is.

Editor’s note:  This is the official launch of Laughing Stork original comics!  Woo-hoo!  Please bear with me as they inevitably evolve and I figure out how to manipulate the pre-made cartoon elements I purchased, but trust me when I say these renderings are WAY preferable to anything drawn by yours truly — which almost always ends up looking like a surprised bobble-head.  Even when I am trying to draw a flower.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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